Saying "no" or rejecting someone's idea, proposal or advice seems simple enough, but for many on both a professional and personal level, effectively communicating what seems to be a simple "no" can be complicated. With this in mind, consider the following tips on being clear on saying "no" while minimizing the fallout.

--Sometimes people say "no" with a negative attitude that sends the message that you simply don't care. Unless that is your intent, don't do it. Remember, you can disagree without being disagreeable. You can say "no" and still have some empathy and compassion.

--Some people think when they say "no" they have no responsibility to explain themselves. Rarely is this the case, particularly when you are dealing with people you DO care about regarding an important business or personal matter. As parents, when our children ask us why the answer is "no," we often say, "Because I said so." You may get away with this approach with kids, but as a manager it is not going to work. Your "no" should sound something like; "Mary, your proposal to redesign the office has merit. But after considering the cost, the timing isn't right. But I appreciate your effort." Remember, you are saying "no" to the idea, not to the person.

--A "no" doesn't always have to be communicated right on the spot. There is nothing wrong with saying, "Joe, you've given me a lot to think about. That's exactly what I am going to do and we will talk tomorrow." Buying time to think through an issue is fine, but don't use this approach to procrastinate and avoid making a tough decision. Sooner or later you are going to have to respond and the fear of saying "no" shouldn't get in the way of you being the leader you are expected to be.

--What happens if someone isn't listening when you are saying "no" or if this person brings up other points to make his case? If any of these efforts are compelling enough to have you change your mind, then do it. However, if your answer is still "no," just use the "broken record" approach; "Jim, I appreciate what you are saying, but rearranging my schedule to attend your event isn't going to work." Be respectful and remain calm no matter how many times the request is made.

--When saying "no" you should consider if there are alternatives that haven't been put on the table; "I'm not able to sign on right now, but I can recommend a colleague who might be able to help you." Or, "I can't meet with you on the 17th, but if there is any way you can do it the day before, we could work something out." The point is "no" doesn't always have to be an unequivocal "no," particularly when dealing with someone you want to continue a positive line of communication with.

--While e-mail, leaving telephone messages and other electronic communication mediums may be the EASIEST way to say "no," sometimes the most effective and respectful approach is to say "no" in person. The other party may still be disappointed, but is likely to appreciate the personal touch.

--Finally, "no" sometimes has to mean "no." Make sure you leave no confusion as to what your intent really is. The worst thing that could happen is to have someone walk away from a conversation thinking there is still a chance you might say "yes" when in your mind it is just not going to happen. Saying "no" doesn't make you a bad person.

Simply put, saying "no" doesn't have to be so difficult, particularly when you consider that you have more communication options than you might have originally thought.

Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102, visit his Web site at www.stand-deliver.com, or e-mail him at sadubato@aol.com.

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