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Are You Asking the Right Questions?
Steve Adubato, Ph.D.
People are obsessed with coming up with the right answers to difficult
problems and challenges in the workplace. In school, students are
taught to come up with the correct answers in order to get a good
grade. Clearly, answers are important, but so are questions. Too
often we ignore the value of asking smart, probing, illuminating
questions. Lawyers, managers, teachers, doctors and yes, journalists,
depend heavily on questions to do their jobs.
Yet, most of us ask questions in a haphazard fashion. We take questions
for granted. Even if you’ve taken a course in communication
or public speaking, you probably never incorporate questions into
your presentations. With this in mind consider some keys to getting
more out of the questions you ask both at home or at work:
--Make sure your questions are clear and easy to understand. Sounds
simple, right? Then why is it that too often people will ask the
question and you have no idea what they want to find out? Before
you ask a question, make sure you know why you are asking it. That
will help. (P.S.-Don’t ask a question just to be heard. It’s
irritating.)
--Direct your questions to a particular person. You are more likely
to get a direct response. Questions asked of particular people are
more effective than simply asking a question of an entire group.
Often, when questions are asked of an entire group, people are reluctant
to be the first to speak up. Also, it makes it easier for audience
members to hide and not participate.
--One at a time. Don’t you hate those “three-part questions?”
How do you know which part you are supposed to answer first? Did
you ever notice that you can’t remember what the first part
was? Ask one question on one subject to one person and you’ll
be pleased with the results.
--Follow up on a previous question that has been responded to.
Something like, “Mary, how does your answer compare with what
Jim said on this subject earlier in the meeting?” Another
effective follow-up is a quickie encourager after someone has responded
to an initial question like, “How so?” or “For
example…”
--Unless you have a good reason for doing it, questions shouldn’t
be overly confrontational; “Why is it that you never seem
to get it right, Bob?” If you are looking to scare the heck
out of Bob or let him know he is about to be fired, you’ve
succeeded. Questions like this can cause real communication problems.
--Dorothy Leeds is the author of the book, “The Seven Powers
of Questions” (Perigee, 2000). You might call her the queen
of questions. She has spent much of her professional life trying
to understand how questions fit into the communication equation.
Dorothy says that asking the right questions sometimes can save
your life. She should know, in 1982 she was diagnosed with breast
cancer. After a mammogram, her doctor simply came in to the room
and said, “Dorothy, your tumor is malignant.” He was
prepared to do a radical mastectomy, but she kept asking “What
are my options?…There are always options, aren’t there?”
With her persistence and constant question asking of different doctors,
she found one who said a lumpectomy was the way to go. That doctor
was right, but none of this would have happened if Dorothy hadn’t
asked the right questions. Over 20 years later, Dorothy Leeds is
still asking the right questions.
What about you? Couldn’t you make better use of questions
in your everyday communication? Think about it and actively try
to do it. Then write to me with your comments or, of course, your
questions.
Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication
and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the
Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza,
Newark, NJ 07102, visit his Web site at www.stand-deliver.com,
or e-mail him at sadubato@aol.com.
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