|
People Skills Matter
Steve Adubato, Ph.D.
Some of us in leadership and management positions have lost our
temper at one time or another. We’ve said things we wished
we hadn’t and used a tone of voice that communicated the wrong
message. There are people in organizations that are so aggressive
with what they say that we see them as having a “problem.”
Having strong people skills is largely about communication. In
any workplace or team the ability to effectively talk and listen
as well as negotiate with others often separates the winners from
the losers. The biggest issue for those who lack people skills is
that they may not know (or worse may not care) about it. I have
seen this phenomena play out with people who function in an environment
where results or individual performance matters a lot. Beyond the
world of competitive individual sports, we see this in the world
of high finance where the bottom line is largely colored in black
and white with very little room for shades of gray.
Consider Nicole, a CFO who has strong technical and analytical
skills, according to her long time colleague Joan. Says Joan, “Nicole
is really good at assessing a fiscal situation and making smart
decisions on a timely basis and is solid on strategic issues.”
The problem however, is that Nicole is also an impatient manager
who has a tendency to blow up at team members and others in the
corporation. The screaming and ridiculing of people in front of
others tends to happen more when deadlines get closer. According
to Joan, Nicole has called managers as well as peers “jerks”
and “stupid idiots.” Sometimes her tirades are sprinkled
with profanity.
In a recent meeting with the company’s CEO, Nicole and Tim,
the company’s VP of marketing, got into a spirited debate
about how to handle the company’s shrinking revenues. Nicole
lost her cool and blurted out, “Your position is off the wall,
Tim. You are such an ass.” Then she turned to the CEO and
said, “You have to decide which one of us is right. We don’t
have the time to play games.”
While the CEO said he felt Nicole raised some good points, he felt
the issue was more complex and needed to be discussed further. Finally,
Nicole lost it and screamed, “I don’t need this crap,
I’m out of here.”
She then stormed out of the meeting and slammed the door behind
her. There was a buzz in the organization about the incident. What
Nicole didn’t understand was that the CEO and VP of marketing
were closer than she thought. Nicole was given an ultimatum--either
go through extensive anger management training or accept a severance
package and leave the company within a month.
Since Nicole was convinced that she had no problem, she wound up
leaving. The real problem, however, is that there is a good chance
she will face these same challenges in her next job.
While a future column will deal with effective ways to manage and
communicate your anger and frustration, here’s one technique
that will pay big dividends immediately. The next time you are tempted
to go off on someone, consider this; What would you feel like if
you were on the receiving end of this barrage of name calling and
ridicule? Would you feel motivated or willing to compromise? I don’t
think so.
The golden rule of treating others the way you would want others
to treat you is still one of the most important foundations of workplace
life. Remember, no matter how good your technical or analytical
skills may be, over the long term, it is your relationship with
others that matters most.
Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication
and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the
Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza,
Newark, NJ 07102, visit his Web site at www.stand-deliver.com,
or e-mail him at sadubato@aol.com.
Back to Star Ledger
Column
|
