Coach's Mailbag
Steve Adubato, Ph.D.

David Beverly, president of a consulting firm called France-Beverly International, is also a diversity trainer and manager and responded to a recent column examining gender differences and their connection to communication styles in the workplace. "Gender is a complex issue…The fact is more men are still heading up corporations globally, so how can we judge women in leadership fairly? If more women had a role of leadership then the key factors of personality, environment and choice could surface as data points for research. Until then, many of the diversity issues are still evident and the behaviors as a result of these issues still impact productivity and the 'bottom line.'"

You raise a great point, David. The sample size of women in executive positions is too small to make confident assessments of women's leadership and communication styles. Let's hope that changes very soon.

Michelle Vogel (a pseudonym), a financial manager for a small real estate company in California, has a serious concern regarding one of her assistants. Vogel says that there are many times her assistant will forget things or make mistakes on a project, even after she has explained step-by-step what needed to be done. Says Vogel, "I've tried talking to her about mistakes…but every method I've tried either falls on deaf ears or causes her to get defensive…It has reached a point where I do a good portion of her duties myself, and the things still left to her, I have to quality control. Does this make me a micromanager or does this mean she's not a good assistant?"

The simple answer is both. However, I wouldn't beat myself up for staying on top of the situation. It just shows that you care a great deal. My advice is to establish a time frame. For example, for the next six months commit to being the best mentor you can be providing concrete advice and feedback to your assistant. If she isn't where she needs to be by then, let her go and don't look back. (If it gets to that, remember you don't have to be Donald "you're fired" Trump to get the job done.)

Mike Bianchi of Madison, NJ had a lot to say about multi-tasking and its impact on communication. "I find multitasking to be most objectionable when people are taking a phone call while having a conversation with me. Whether picking up the phone while speaking with me face-to-face or clicking over to call waiting, I instantly get the message that the current conversation with me is not important to them." Bianchi says that even though people feel they are being more efficient when they are handling interruptions, often times tasks take longer overall and with poorer results.

If more people realized the price they pay for these actions, maybe they would think twice before doing it. Why not be proactive, Mike, and share your thoughts with selected professional colleagues. It could make a difference.

Captain Rich Naruszewicz wrote a very touching letter in response to a column on NJ Lottery Director Ginny Bauer, who lost her husband David on September 11. "I am a captain on a high speed ferry and Ginny's husband Dave got on my ferry every morning to go to Manhattan. Dave Bauer, 'Big Dave,' 'Gentle Dave' always smiled. I shook hands with him every morning…but I never saw Dave after that tragic day…My hat goes off to Ginny Bauer and the rest of the people who lost a loved one on that day and carry on. She is a role model in my book."

Obviously, September 11 was a horrific tragedy, but leaders like Ginny Bauer have chosen to turn it into something positive, as hard as that is. Your letter proves that, Rich.

Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102, visit his Web site at www.stand-deliver.com, or e-mail him at sadubato@aol.com.

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