|
How to Receive the “Gift” of
Feedback
Steve Adubato, Ph.D.
It has been said that feedback is a valuable gift, but only if
you are prepared and willing to receive it. How do you receive feedback?
How do you solicit it? There is more of an art to this vital communication
process than you might think.
With this in mind consider a few concrete tips and tools:
--Be very specific regarding exactly what kind of feedback you
are looking for. Many people will complain about a work situation
to a colleague or friend in the following fashion; “Jim, I’m
really unhappy with my boss. He comes on so strong at times. I’m
not sure what to do. What do you think?” What do you think
about what?! The question “what do you think?” can be
interpreted in so many ways. Be more specific; “My boss is
coming on strong. I am so frustrated and unhappy and thinking of
leaving. What are the odds that I can find a comparable position
in the current marketplace?”
--Don’t ask for feedback if you REALLY don’t want it.
Some people ask for advice when what they want is nothing more than
confirmation of what they already believe. Consider this; Joe says,
“I think Mary is doing a great job running the sales division.
Don’t you agree, Bob?” Bob responds, “I’m
not so sure. Her people don’t seem happy and the numbers are
behind where we were last year at this time. I think we can do better.”
Here’s where things get dicey. Joe, visibly angry, declares,
“Are you nuts? Mary is the best sales manager we’ve
had in years. I can’t believe you don’t agree with me.”
Now you’ve got a prescription for a counterproductive workplace
argument. The problem is that Joe was looking for Jim to confirm
his view of Mary’s performance instead of getting genuine
feedback. So don’t ask if all you really want to do is tell.
--Even if you don’t like the person giving you feedback,
don’t ignore the potential value of the information he or
she provides. The adage “consider the source” is tricky.
On one hand, of course the credibility and reputation of the messenger
is important, but there are too many situations where the expression
“consider the source” is used to ignore valuable feedback
simply because of some past workplace disagreement or issue. When
professionals do this, they only hurt themselves and the organization.
--Even if you don’t fully agree or understand the feedback
being provided, it is critical that you acknowledge it, and in some
cases, encourage more. For example; “That’s an interesting
approach you have suggested. I hadn’t considered it. How exactly
would it work in this particular situation?”
--You can reject feedback, but do it in a respectful and constructive
fashion. If someone recommends that you revise a proposal that you
feel very strongly about, consider this response; “Jack, I
really appreciate your feedback, but I have to tell you, I’m
convinced we’ve got a winner here, so I am going to stick
with it.”
--Be selective. Don’t ask someone without financial experience
to look at your budget and give you feedback. Who is the best person
to give the most valuable feedback given the situation? Too many
professionals have a habit of asking everyone around them for feedback.
The problem here is that no one feels particularly important. Further,
you will get inundated with so many opinions, which has the potential
of frustrating you.
How do you solicit feedback in the workplace? How valuable has
it been? Write to me.
Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication
and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the
Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza,
Newark, NJ 07102, visit his Web site at www.stand-deliver.com,
or e-mail him at sadubato@aol.com.
Back to Star Ledger
Column
|
