The Coach's Mailbag
Steve Adubato

Received some great letters over the past few weeks in reaction to recent columns. Joanne Blackburn who moved to New Jersey from California last summer says, "Finally someone is addressing the issue of customer service! I have to say I am appalled at the lack of customer service in NJ…I have always been huge on customer service. It will make or break a business. When entering a retail establishment, I expect at least a greeting and a smile, common courtesy and a thank you after making my purchase. This goes for restaurants, grocery stores, banks, post offices and small shops…A little customer service would make a world of difference and it doesn't cost a thing…I don't mean to pick on New Jersey, but when I recently drove through Pennsylvania I noticed that when I walked into a restaurant I was smiled at and greeted. What a pleasant surprise. NJ needs help! Thanks for letting me do a little ranting and raving."

No problem, Joanne. Rant away but I have to disagree with you about New Jersey and customer service not being "perfect together." We're pretty friendly people, aren't we? Do the rest of you think there is something about we New Jerseyans that makes us rude communicators? Could it be in the air or in the water? I'm not buying it.

Maria Anan is an executive vice president for the Raritan Bay Healthcare System. Her expertise is in the area of communications and marketing. She also had a strong reaction to a recent column on how our children learn (or don't learn) how to communicate effectively. "I am a big advocate of communication and have taught my children (ages 6 and 7) about the importance of good communication skills…The two most important things in life are to be a good person and a good communicator…I think schools should dedicate a segment to communication skills. Not only would it help them academically, but personally, too. I think too much emphasis is put on 'being the best to get into the best schools.' There are many people that I graduated college with who were average students and are doing well because of their communication skills."

Great stuff, Maria. You couldn't be more right about average students/exceptional communicators often being high achievers in business and other arenas. It really is weird that our schools don't make this a higher priority. Not just spelling and grammar, but the art of persuasion, communicating with passion and getting to and staying on the main point. That's pretty important stuff for kids and the rest of us. I'd love to have any educator out there write to me about how his or her school handles communication skills in the curriculum.

Got a super letter from Jim Wejsa on the subject of bullying, which believe it or not is an issue not only in the schoolyard but also in the workplace. Jim speaks from personal experience. "As we have come to know, bullies are really very insecure people and when we stand up to them they usually back down and go pick on a softer target. Bullies can have a traumatic effect on an individual's self esteem and scar them psychologically. When I was young I was smaller than most boys and was picked on by some of the bigger guys. I have since grown to 6 foot 4 inches and 235 pounds and at times have dreams of pounding these guys who bullied me…Teachers, parents and managers should all have a zero tolerance level for bullying."

Wow! You've proven once again, Jim, that really big guys can sometimes be extremely sensitive individuals and communicators. Your message to us about zero tolerance on bullying is clearly warranted.

As always, thanks for the great feedback.

Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102, visit his Web site at www.stand-deliver.com, or e-mail him at sadubato@aol.com.

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