Communication Resolutions for 2004
Steve Adubato, Ph.D.

Another New Year. Another opportunity to make some resolutions that we’ll hopefully keep. Sure, you’ve made a bunch of resolutions about losing that extra ten pounds or getting to the gym more often, but what about resolving to be a better communicator both at work and at home? If you dare, try this. I resolve to…

--Proactively admit when I’ve made a mistake before being called on it by someone who matters. Acknowledging responsibility for something that has gone wrong and resolving to improve the situation is a powerful communication tool that has a big impact on strengthening relationships and building trust.

--Avoid the temptation of blaming others when things go wrong. Playing the blame game has few winners and often causes those around you to become unnecessarily defensive. So instead of pointing fingers, resolve to find solutions and remedies. Problems are nothing more than opportunities that must be seized upon.

--If you are in sales (which most of us are in some way or another) stop the hard sell. Nobody likes it. Resolve to communicate a sense of caring and interest in a prospective customer. Nobody likes the hard sell, but everyone appreciates being cared about. Try it. Not only will you feel better about yourself, but you will sell a lot more.

--Remember someone’s name when I am introduced to him or her. The key is to use that person’s name immediately. There is nothing worse than meeting someone four or five times and having to ask his name once again. It’s embarrassing and it shows that you are a lazy communicator. It also tends to make the other person feel pretty insignificant. Simply put, resolve to pay more attention when you meet someone instead of going on automatic pilot.

--Anticipate miscommunication. Instead of assuming that the message being sent is exactly the one that is being received, assume that the opposite is taking place. Then, the key is to communicate accordingly. Seek to clarify by asking open-ended questions and paraphrasing what you think you’ve heard. Sounds like a lot of work? Consider all the time and effort you spend trying to fix things after the fact when figuring out what went wrong and why.

--Have a face-to-face conversation (instead of sending an e-mail) with someone at work regarding a difficult or sensitive issue that must be resolved. Sure, you think e-mail is easier, but in reality you end up communicating back and forth electronically with this person because the nuance is missed. Technology has its place, but too often it has become a crutch and a weak substitute for face-to-face communication.

--Leave shorter phone messages. Did you ever notice how often you find yourself droning on when leaving a message for a friend or colleague? Resolve to know exactly what you want to say when you place the call instead of figuring it out on the fly. Investing a few minutes up front will make you a much more effective communicator. Further, it will keep friends and colleagues from cutting your message off long before you finish.

--Seek an opportunity to stand and deliver. Instead of hiding in meetings at work and coming up with a million different excuses for not making a presentation, resolve to take the plunge. Better yet, resolve to join your local Toastmasters or see if there is an informal public speaking organization in your area. The idea is to practice communicating on your feet and to get constructive feedback as much as possible. Try it and you’ll be amazed at the results.

Dr. Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on the subjects of communication and leadership and is the author of the book "Speak from the Heart." Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102, visit his Web site at www.stand-deliver.com, or e-mail him at sadubato@aol.com.

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